At one point in my life, it was all about money. I worked from sun up to sun down to make sure I had a nice car, lived in a bad ass apartment, kept my hair and nails done, and could indulge in the luxuries. I was fresh! I thought I was happy. Thinking back. I was very petty, easily agitated, and judgmental.
One day I was headed to see another client and had a bad pain in my stomach. I didn’t think much of it. I took some ibuprofen (thinking it was menstrual cramps) and stopped at a nearby library waiting for the pain to pass. The pain got so bad I thought I was dying. I ended up spending a week in the hospital and another two weeks at home recovering.
The affects of this only strengthened feelings of depression I had been denying.
Over the next year my life changed significantly. I was working part time, and my lifestyle had seriously declined. Losing and releasing many of the material things I put so much value into really woke me up. When I couldn’t hide behind the mask of the nice car, layed out apartment, and fake ass friends. I didn’t even know who the hell I was. I had to face reality. As long as I refused to accept my past, become accountable for my actions, and build realistic goals for my life; that I would never truly have peace in my life. I knew I didn’t want to be bitter, angry, or miserable. I knew that as long as I chased money versus happiness, I wouldn’t have peace. I knew I was ready to change. Money no longer has power over me.